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Relationship Counseling – Handy Tips for Saving Your Relationship If you’re having serious problems in your marriage or your relationship, getting a counselor can make a huge difference. When you open up yourselves to a qualified third party, you can gain a healthier perspective into your situation and have a better chance of surviving those rough patches. Before you search for a counselor, however, you should correct any misconceptions about counseling that may be hindering you from getting it. First off, no, counselors don’t go around telling couples what to do. They’re not there to listen to your gripes and give you homework to improve your relationship. Definitely, they will listen to you, but their real task is to serve as a guide while you identify the problems and find your own solutions to them. Another wrong belief about counseling people might have is that couples should only use it as a last resort. Believing this is gravely wrong because when couples keep stalling counseling and only come for it as a last ditch effort, the damage is usually already irreversible. While you consider the idea of going into counseling, you can begin to work on your marriage or relationship by heeding a few tips. For example, If you think like many other couples do, you may believe that shutting mouth and avoiding arguments is doing your relationship a favor. This is actually so far from the truth. If anything, not talking only means giving your frustrations a chance to bottle up until you can no longer take it and everything explodes. A better way to handle it is to lay some ground rules with your partner while allowing each other to freely express your sentiments.
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A good example is strictly no name-calling or cursing. The worst damage to a relationship usually starts when couples personally attack each other, even with words, instead of finding a solution to the problem. No yelling makes another good rule of engagement. It can be hard to stop yourself though, especially if you do it as a defense mechanism. Remind yourself that this can be very demeaning to your partner. You can always walk away when things become uncontrollable and just return when you’ve both calmed down.
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Another effective way to argue without harm is to write down your sentiments. You don’t have to make it sound like a speech or anything. The best thing about writing down your feelings is that you can say everything without interruption. Your partner can’t cut you off. Certainly, the previously mentioned rule must remains – no name-calling or any other kind of personal attack. Marriage or relationship counseling can impact your life as a couple in many significant ways. Sometimes, there can even be immediate effects after you start working with a qualified therapist. Of course, you need to understand that a counselor can only do so much. You and your partner must have a genuine desire to make your relationship work before it actually will.